What a 60-guest baby shower actually costs here, itemised.

Nobody planning a shower gets handed the whole number. You get a room quote from one place, a per-tray price from another, a balloon person on Instagram, and somewhere around the third spreadsheet tab the total quietly becomes a surprise. So here is the arithmetic for a Saturday-morning shower for sixty, done in public, the way I’d want it done for me.

The room: our morning block runs $1,400 to $2,000 — that’s 10:00 to 3:30, set up, torn down and cleaned, with someone from us in the building. The food: your caterer, at whatever your family actually pays — call it $30 a head, so $1,800 for sixty. The dessert table is usually the centrepiece, so give it real money: call it $400. A balloon garland from us is $300 to $550 if you want it handled; a chafing set is $140 if your caterer isn’t hauling their own. Add 13% HST on our lines and you land somewhere between $4,100 and $5,300, all in, for a morning that didn’t borrow a hall built for someone’s wedding.

Two caveats. The room number is a band and not a quote, because there’s no lease yet — that story has its own entry. And the catering line is your number, not mine: I used $30 because it’s the middle of what families tell me they pay, and your aunty may beat it soundly. The point isn’t the exact total. The point is that you should be able to see it before anyone asks for a deposit — the long version, with the timeline, lives at baby and bridal showers.